Cider

i've decided than when i get old i want to be just like my dog. Hes a mix, mostly cocker spaniel, but with long hair and a long tail. We've had him forever and he's starting to get old. But amazingly he still acts almost as young as ever except that he's going deaf (boo hoo).
I took him out for a walk as the sun was setting yesterday and HE was the one sprinting the whole time. Granted his sprint isnt as fast as it used to be (now i can keep up with him). He was doing the best he could in the circumstances, because what he was thinking was that he wanted to get home to daddy! He loves my dad the best in the family, (probably cuz dad feeds him). Its a great metaphor though, to still keep running as fast as you can towards your Daddy (Heavenly Daddy) even when its misreably hot, and when you're getting old and tired!

My sister Nisha's friend in spain came up with this saying:

El perro es el protagonista de la casa.
the Dog is the protagoist of the house.

thats definately true in my house! I love my doggie!

Happy!...........?

im still not sure how i feel about graduation. Yeh im super excited, but it feels like one of those quasi-dreams where you know you'll wake up soon, so you better have fun while it lasts. (know what im talking about? maybe im just crazy).
Meanwhile i hate thinking about all the people im gonna miss. sigh. once again, as soon as any sad thought approaches my mind shuts down.

Today was pretty fun so far, im off to a few open houses. Im so glad i wont be in the J&C looking like i did at graduation practice. A standing O to robbie for getting the physics award, that is a stinking hard class, and i dont call just any class hard! I still dont think im ready to give this stupid speech tomorrow. Yeh i know its a great opportunity.... but ONCE AGAIN, im not feelin it.

I saw my future husband today. :) he was waiting for me while i was at graduation practice (for those unfaithful readers of mine: thats Breana's littlest brother, he's SOOOOOOO cute!!!) Anyway he waved at me (WOOT WOOT) and i smiled and waved back. Then i blew him a kiss. It was so funny his eyes got real big and he just stared at me and didnt know what to do..... awwww

Congratulations on the end of a good year to all!

a random day

im finally done with finals! yay. Now i am in the process of trying to forget everything about schoolwork, which is not going so hot since my mom has reminded me upwards of fifteen times that i should be writing my valedictorian speech. Is it really that important? Its two minutes out of the whole show. And yes, its a show. its put on for our parents so yes it is.....

I saw high school muscial for the first time today. Its SOOOOOOOOO good!!! very cheezy but thats ok i love cheez. I was very hyper and Meg and i sang on the top of our lungs much to the mortification of rebecca. then i went to Logans and found out that they hired someone else, (also im not needed at smoothie king till end of july!) but he did say that they didnt really like the girl they'd hired, so to call back on monday to see if they'd fired her! Please pray, i need a job and i am NOT working in the corn field!!!!!!!!! NO WAY!!!!!!
I went to the library (haaaaaaleluyah) In my dream home i'll have a huge library with winding stair cases and big open windows and comfy sofas. (i want one like in beauty and the beast!). ANd then when i came home Keilah and i watched 'what about bob' which is the most random movie ive ever seen. This is great 2 whole movies in 1 day! For the first week of no school (well, there even IS school) its great to have free time...... then i get bored.

Anywho then i scrapbooked for a while and will read till i go to bed. Maybe watch another movie. Woo hoo!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is creative and expressive. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem energetic - almost manic. In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

im still bored

You Are a Jam Cookie

On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

Even though i HATE these cookies, sometimes that how you could describe me. My friends from ballet say so.

im bored

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm done with physics FOREVER.....that is until i go to college.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
We'll see tomorrow how i did. All i have to say about it is that my left thumb is raw and bled for a bit from my having chewed it for an hour and fifteen minutes, out of anxiety.......

Yay for randomly hyper girls. Meg, Adrienne and i went to meg's house to 'study', i really did plan to , and we did s-what, till we decided to go to culvers for ice cream, and then we got super hyper (CHOCOLATE) and called Jared, and James and acted like like the mature senior- soon to be college students that we are!!!!! But i did practice my spanish......;) OK i had really better go study now. love to everyone in the entire world! adios, hasta la vista, hasta luego, hasta chow (or maybe ciao) es la hora para despedirnos!

Here comes the bride, fair, fat and wide....

I have an anouncement i have changed my mind and am going to get married.
I dont know his name but he's Breanna Campbell's youngest brother. He's the cutest thing ever!!! He always makes faces at me in the hallway and even smiled at me when he came to the the ballet. It was love at first smile!


i am in the most randomly hyper moode ever. I need to see someone besides my mom and my cat. NOW!

Let my Lifesong sing to YOU

If you ask me to leap
out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves
I'll go but i cannot go alone
'cause i know im nothing on my own
But the power of christ in me makes me strong
makes me strong

when im weak, You make me strong
When im blind you shine your light on me
'cause ill never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know you dont need me
how amazing to find that You want me
So ill stand on your truth and ill fight with your strenght
until you bring the victory, by the power of christ in me

'In Me'- Casting Crowns

This is currently my favorite song and prayer. Pray for me if you think of it.

Currently im procrastinating studying for physics....sigh. I had a great weekend, although im sad to be done with ballet. Thanks to my friend James for coming to see me on Friday night (and many a stab to the hearts of the rest of my friends who were too busy to come and see their friends last performance with Lafayette Ballet ever.....) its ok, many of you have supported me over the past many years, thankyou.

OK, so on saturday after the performance, my two best buds Jennifer and Chelsea said, "Tirzah there's someone waiting for you out in the hall." I could tell they were up to something but i decided to humor them, and so i went out, but saw no one, and then they called me back. I walked around the corner and there they stood with their beautiful gold tutu's but instead of a rich dark purple bodice, they had donned white T-shirts with the inscription: " I LOVE TIRZAH" (well there was a heart, so: i heart Tirzah). and on the back it said "GONNA MISS YOU".
It was so sweet. I really wasnt going to cry, i'd made it up until then, but when i say them i ran into the dressing room and started bawling. They came after me and hugged me and the three of us stood there sobbing, with our makeup streaming down our faces. And of course after that, THEN we have to take a million pictures. I HATE getting pics when im crying (yes this happens more often then i'd like).

There's no way to say how much im gonna miss these girls. The three of us have spent every evening and weekend together for the last 10 years, at least. We've vented together, we've cryed together, we've auditioned together, gone to summer ballet intensives together. oh man. I better stop now, or i'll just cry again.

Good luck with finals all.

prayer

Hear my prayer God. Im desperate for your help. why does it seem that every door thats open is the last thing i'd want to do. What ive spent all my life doing is now pointless. Yes i want to do your will. More than anything else, even if i means doing what i dont want to do right now, but what if it is your will and its my turn to take the initiative, but if i have to go out on my own does that mean its not your will??? Lord, leaving this is leaving my heart. I will rip it out and leave half of it dead in the shadow of a lifeless dream. These tears streaming down my face, is this because its time to say goodbye? or because im afraid to take a chance? or because im afraid to do your will? is it your will?

the last time i had this saying goodbye conversation with you, God, it was different, i knew the only choice i had and the right one was to wait on your timing (which i still am by the way). But this is totally different. Its now or never, i cant wait all my life to decide. But im scared Lord, i need your help and guidance. If that means goodbye forever than..... i cant say it, Lord. If its your will, give me the strenght to do it, so that at the end of life i can have no regrets, but for now to just walk away tears me up. But yet there are times when i think and even convince myself that i cant, im not good enough, surely doing Your will could never mean something that would be a dream come true. Those are only in faerie tales, but yet, why couldnt your will be perfectly awesome?

Oh Lord, forgive my doubting heart, wipe these tears away, stitch my heart up with your words of comfort and above all help me to make the right choice, to go down the right path.

thanks Daddy

when talking to the seniors last year the one thing they all said was that it went super fast, and was over before they knew it. Y'know it really wasnt. I mean its been a blast, it really has been an awesomely fun school year, but the retreat? that was FOREVER ago!!! I think it all turned out different that i expected. Many things way better, but some- just different. i made friends, or strenghted friendships with a lot of really fun people who i'd have never thought i would, and i hope i never forget all my friends from highschool. I hate how they say highschool friendships dont last....boo hoo.
Jr/Sr was fun. Honestly my social-o-meter was beyond full, and i was going through withdrawl from lack of reading, but really it was a whole lot more fun that i'd expected, especially the banquet. Our wonderful class, being the complaigners we are led me to believe that the actually banquet would be really boring. But instead it was super fun. I love meg and tyler, they're so fun and so cute together (as is jared and adrienne)!!!!!

I still have mixed feelings about the comming summer and year. YES, YES! i'll no longer be a highschool student. WOOHOO, but that means i hafta be responsible for myself, no same familiar school and friends. (tear...) i dont know. The story of my life this past month has been to push all thought of the future out of my mind. It'll come when it comes, and i want to enjoy the moment.....See where it gets me.

i HATE PIZZA!

Senior trip was way fun. It was kind of strange though how i the parts i thought would be the most fun werent and the parts i didnt especially look forward to doing were soo much fun!
The wilds i think was my favorite, between the fourth falls, giant swing, lake, canoeing-or well falling into the lake for many of us.....the summit, the sermons, human foosball etc..

Altogether we ate entirely too much pizza!!! i never want to see pizza again. Especially cuz one night.....ok so natasha and meg and adrienne were really hungry after we'd walked around a bunch of monuments in DC, so they decided to order pizza i agreed to pitch in as did rebecca although grudgingly. So we ordered pizza and although we were supposed to be in bed meg and i went down stairs to wait for the guy. We waited and waited and out of the elevator comes adrienne(or someone) with the pizza guy, who had already delivered to our room. So we paid and went back upstairs. I opened door to the hallway and there was Mrs. Semmel standing in the middle of the hallway, i quickly ducked back in and the three of us (frieking out all the while) ran down one floor to the elevator up two and walked back down to our floor deciding we'd just tell her. But there was no one in the hall so we ran into our room hid the pizza and jumped into bed. The phone rings and it's Amy MacLeod telling us that if we ordered pizza to keep on the dl cuz the hustonator and mrs. Semmel were asking who ordered pizza at the same time theres a knock on the door and sure enough, we were busted, told we'd never be trusted again and the night ended in tears/nervous laughter. So the next morning, i felt terrible and went over to apologize to the two of them at breakfast and it all turned out all right, they were ok, and the only reason Mrs. Semmel was patroling the hallway was cuz kelsey or someone had pounded on their door thinking it was someone elses, and they were trying to get the girls to calm down and go to bed.
Needless to say we had cold pizza in our room for quite some time as breakfasts and dinners...we also had to spend 10.50 on 'dc's best pizza'....yeh right and had pizza several times at the wilds...and im sick of it!!!!!
We did a lot and had a lot of fun but im sure you'll hear more details later from us in chapel or whatever. CIAO