Tuesday, May 16, 2006

prayer

Hear my prayer God. Im desperate for your help. why does it seem that every door thats open is the last thing i'd want to do. What ive spent all my life doing is now pointless. Yes i want to do your will. More than anything else, even if i means doing what i dont want to do right now, but what if it is your will and its my turn to take the initiative, but if i have to go out on my own does that mean its not your will??? Lord, leaving this is leaving my heart. I will rip it out and leave half of it dead in the shadow of a lifeless dream. These tears streaming down my face, is this because its time to say goodbye? or because im afraid to take a chance? or because im afraid to do your will? is it your will?

the last time i had this saying goodbye conversation with you, God, it was different, i knew the only choice i had and the right one was to wait on your timing (which i still am by the way). But this is totally different. Its now or never, i cant wait all my life to decide. But im scared Lord, i need your help and guidance. If that means goodbye forever than..... i cant say it, Lord. If its your will, give me the strenght to do it, so that at the end of life i can have no regrets, but for now to just walk away tears me up. But yet there are times when i think and even convince myself that i cant, im not good enough, surely doing Your will could never mean something that would be a dream come true. Those are only in faerie tales, but yet, why couldnt your will be perfectly awesome?

Oh Lord, forgive my doubting heart, wipe these tears away, stitch my heart up with your words of comfort and above all help me to make the right choice, to go down the right path.

thanks Daddy

6 Comments:

At 2:46 AM, Blogger MEC said...

AMEN! How come with the hard stuff, I hide in my own little corner, in my own little chair and froget that my father is the creator of the universe, why do I place these idols before me? I don't know, I just know God keeps tugging them away and I cling so hard I'm gonna shatter someday, help me! Tirz, I don't know what to say, b/c I don't know the future, but I know that if you end up making the wrong choice your parents will forgive you, it might cost you to jump, but will the thrill and the landing make that fear and danger worth while? I support you no matter what, it sad how hard it is to follow your dreams once your 'supposed' to suddenly become a realist. So many people settle for what's less than they can accomplish.
I'm gonna end this book and say, I'll pray for you, and I hope God takes your hand and visibly leads you to his will with all the grace and strenght you'll need

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger turza said...

thanks guys, i just wish it were a simple choice between right and wrong. unfortunately no one can make this decision for me, is seems like im all on my own, but i can do absolutely NOTHING with out God's help.

pray for me

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger La Profesora said...

I'll pray for you too, Tirza. Thanks for letting us share your burden. You are at a crossroads.

Hey, are you having an open house???? We'll be up for graduation and want to make the rounds :)

 
At 3:48 PM, Blogger turza said...

Yay!!!!!!

My open house is Sunday from 2-4pm at my house!

my parents are currently trying to make copies to give out.....

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Tirzah...
God knows EXACTLY what He wants
for you...even when you dont
Just hang in there...keep talking to him...and trust and hope for the best. Love you!

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger MEC said...

Tirz, there's a comment for you on Tasha's blog

Don't kill me ok?

 

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