My biggest fear

I decided a new post was long over due.

Cliche sayings are so annoying like: if at first you dont suceed, try, try again. It makes me so angry to hear it cuz it almost doesnt mean anything anymore, and yet its so true. Why is it that when you fail once, sometimes you just dont want to try at all cuz you're too scar'd from the first failure. That's me, im afraid of failure, but what if something goes wrong? what if? what if? But then on the flip side, when you do persevere in something, and finally suceed, so great is your joy in the sucess, that you forget the first failures. Its the same with pain. Not so much physical as emotional, i dont like to appear not under control (which is of course why i never cry in public......too bad, i cant help that one, but i hate it when i do). Thats what women say when asked if having a baby hurts. Ya, but once you're holding the precious little rotten sinner who'll hate you till they've left the house, you forget all about the pain in the joy of a new life. (note the sarcasm).
But anyways, i guess the lesson is sometimes you gotta just grit your teeth and go through it. Just try again, just poor the hydrogen peroxide on the open wound and let it burn. Unfortunatley though physical pain is so much easier to bear and shorter lived that emotional scars or fears. I'd rather pour hydrogen peroxide over a completely raw foot than..... well, than alot of things, which i dont want to take the time to discuss or pour out. Anywho, its my favorite time of the day (well, night): take a shower and read a good book!!!!!

Ciao, duckies!