bored

grrrrrness. I finally got my laptop to recieve purdue's wireless, but it must have died on me. So now im in HSSE library, wasting my time till class starts....... i need to go buy a spanish manual too. I cant think of anything else, to say b/c im not even in the moode to blog. i just felt like it cuz i've already checked my e-mail a million times and facebook too! Lata

farewell

i feel like this is the eve of adulthood. Goodbye to highschool, goodbye to sweet memories. Normally im pretty much a self-absorbed person who writes for the approval of others, but this time i think im just gonna write for my own consolation (which is still self-absorbed, but since this is a farewell to childhood........) Im so excited about the future and everything that it holds, but at the same time i dont what to let go..........i wish i could hold on to everything, even some things that didnt especially like or appreciate, but no i was ungrateful for them at the time


"most of us have nothing to complain about. Most of us have things we could live with out."
-Nickelback

im addicted now, thanks to meg.

But little things like sitting with Jared and joe and chris everyday at lunch my whole junior year (i think) at the time i was thinking this stinks! i wish i had lunch with my friends. Little did i know that these are some of my best friends through thick and thin (i hope......right?). things like awesome teachers like Debra Toth where i was just concerned about how little i could pay attention and still get the highest grade, i was disrespectful because of it. And reading in matt harmless' classes. Things like being to scared to cultivate relationships with the class above me, cuz i was afraid of what they'd think of me (granted will, adam, matt, robbie, jaybo and paul all in the same class was and still would be a little intimidating......). Like crying on friend's shoulders countless times, when i was frustrated, or just emotional, or tears sprung to my eyes from hitting my nose....... there were many times when i was just too conserned about what others would think of me, or if they'd still like me, or what my friends would say, or i was just afraid to start a true, deep friendship. I've been told that boys and girls can never truly be friends. that's baloney!!!!!! I think all my highschool friends are (hopefully) true friends, that i miss very much and i will be excited to hear when they start a serious relationship with someone.

i have memories i wouldnt trade for the world, and though last week i was so through with highschool relationships and ready for college ones, i realize that i was caught up in potential male-relationships. who am i kidding, im neither ready nor interested, i just wanted the attention and the satistfaction that come with it. I dont want to hurt anyone. I realize that i will be happy to spend this sememster among friends. Old and new too. its a hard juggle, but worth it.

i feel as if i am to fall asleep forever to my childhood and wake up to adulthood and the responsibilities that come with it. im not ready. but staying away longer will do nothing to prolong it. I may as well accept it. sigh.

Crazy Megness and TirB/decisions

meg didnt want her pic taking hee hee (shes cleaning up at Moe's: WELCOME TO MOES!!!!)





i was really bored/hyper after having worked and sweated all night at smoothie king. i think a whole sorority came in. there were a million girls and like 8 boys. AHHHHHHH. I had some interesting discussions with the guy i worked with. He and i have had a history of not getting along, so i was honestly kinda scared when he brought up the topic of gays and lesbians.........should i keep my mouth shut and be non-partial or should i speak up (keep in mind this guy could easily kill me with a punch), His stance was that as long as the parties are consenting who cares..........at first i was a little noncomital and let him keep on talking. But then he said that a God of love, as is clearly stated in the bible, could not POSSIBLY condemn people for the free choices that are theirs to make. (ok too far, i stick up for my God). I said that it was the same as a parent to a child: just because a parent loves a child doesnt mean that they let the child do what ever he wants. the parent punnishes the child for doing wrong BECAUSE the parent loves his child and because its the right thing to do. I know i could have said something much better or used a verse, but it was a split second thing and the moment i said it the sorority walked in and we were making smoothies till after close and never picked up the discussion. Thoughts? how can i explain that homosexuality is blatantly wrong with out coming across as holier that thou, or being harsh (but still telling the truth of course).


.............I love Meg cochran so much, im so glad that we'll both get to hang out this semester (unlike some people who are going away!) I cant think of a time i've hung out with her and not had fun, just being completely stupid, making fools out of ourselves and being crazy (stupid) college freshies!!!!!!! we went to see Step Up (sigh......................enormous SIGH............................................................................................) after we'd both sweat all the water out of our systems, we looked pretty gross, we were tired as a dog, and we propped up our chip encrusted (smoothie encrusted) feet on the bar in front of us and watched the movie (when we werent cracking up). good times.

content in the tornado

im not sure how i feel about this whole becoming an adult thing. it doesnt feel any different and yet it does. i always thought that coming out of highschool you'd know where you're gonna study, what career you're gonna have, who you're gonna marry and where you'll live!!! bad news..........

worst things:
1. paying for gas!!!
2. Having to be responsible for job and school schedules. I like to consider myself pretty responsible, but im just so lazy in this area. i keep hoping that if i dont worry about it, it'll all just solve itself.
3. saying goodbye............to friends, to familiar places, to memories

best things:
1. Making new friends! its weird. sometimes im completely shy around people, mostly when they're all friends and im the newbie (yeh i know, tirzah shy??!) , but when you're all new together, there's something that helds you bond and its so much fun!
2. Freedom of time and schedule (somewhat) to make what i want of my life.
3. the independance. i love it. yeh so i just repeated myself. oh well i really like it.

really though, im content. sure there's alot i'd like to change about myself and my schedule, but its been fun, though there are alot of people. OK pretty much everyone, that im gonna miss in a few weeks here.

I work at smoothie king tonight from 5:30 to close. if you read this stop in and see me!!!! or call me at the store or on my cell (if im not busy i can talk!)

hmmm

hmmmmm im actually really bored right now. My life has been so jam-packed that i havent had time to stop and breathe till like now. and i miss it. I really want to start school. full time, i dont want to work, i just want to go to purdue, and have fun with friends and take ballet and swing dancing and have fun. And most of all i want to be done with highschool drama. I had fooled myself into thinking that it was over. Aside from just meeting new friends, even with some old friends, i almost thought it was over. and speaking of drama i'd just like to say.
In response to certain bashing on those of female persuasion for bashing on you or something. w/e. ummm the whole swarming new students thing is just because its a new student. you cant expect anything less from a highschool of like 200. be real. I dont know what girls you were refering to, but if ones acuse boys of just talking to a girl cuz she's pretty, then the girl is jealous or bored, or most likely both! But hey girls are guilty as charged of the same thing as boys, so lets all just mutually agree to get over it. Hey girls are superficial, boys are superficial, sure its not right at all but it happens. in the end all that matters is if you can spend the rest of your life with that person, but right now, who's thinking about that? no, everyone just wants to make friends (yours truly), or flirt, or get a relationship. and hey if thats your choice, more power to you, but personally im not ready to get married (ever) so im just interested in friendship. Oh and speaking of friendship, i was very nice to andy. Meg even told me she didnt know how i was so nice to him. sure towards then end of the year, we didnt end up as best of friends, but i gave him a chance, and if our personalities dont match perfectly, well thats why im not his girlfriend! more power, to her, im sure shes a real sweet girl, there are many types of people in this world, which is good news for all of us, because it means that God has a match for us, if its his will. And i personally am willing to patiently wait for God to bring him along. that shouldnt be our primary concern.

I heard this quote and i really liked it, it went something like;

"run as fast and as hard as you can towards being like Christ. and If out of the corner of you eye you spot someone else running as fast and as hard as you are.........'

God bless you all and your future decisions, what ever they may be.

BGR rocks!

BGR (boiler Gold rush) has been so much fun. i was a little skeptical considering that im only taking 2 classes at Purdue and not even living in the dorms (it seemed a little pointless). But there are plenty of OC (off campus) peeps and here are pictures of the ones in my group. i've met so many cool people and has such fun times. it really is a small world. I've met so many people who are related to ones i know, or went to school with them etc. .
Granted i've also been working this week, and i spent last night with BGR's but i was handing out hundreds of smoothie samples with Jason under Smoothie King's tent. I was surprised anyone recognized me hidden under my hat with a very large t-shirt on.
I've decided that I like my name. Sure i get that look like "what's that again" every time i introduce myself. And sure I have to repeat it like 3 times, but really once a person gets it they dont forget it. (i mean how many tirzah's do you know?) so really my life isnt so bad after all. :)
Im so ready to start school though. if your in school or will be, im jealous. really really jealous. i do like school alot (and im not just saying it) i like the busyness (not that my life isnt busy) but it just feels like im not going anywhere, where as when im studying i have a goal to go toward, instead of a pay day to look forward to. oh well. it'll come soon enough. and i am excited about peru, it just feels so far away.
Luv y'all bunchies. i prob wont see anyone before they leave for college so au revoir. (sigh)

Memories

POST PEOPLE!

I hate how no one posts during the summer. if that's you than BOO on you!! I still find time and im working 4 jobs! how do i do it? simple. One job (corn feild) i regularly work every morning-afternoon, then i come home, shower and tutor a girl in spanish for an hour than i may have to work at either smoothie king or american eagle or maybe neither since they dont schedule me that often, so i instead may mow the lawn, watch a movie, hang out with friends, read a good book or just generally enjoy my summer. Really im just busy enough with some free time and a lot of fun. i love it.

So today was my first offical time working at AE....... i folded clothes for 3 hours. It wasnt bad really. a little hot, but i dont mind getting paid to fold clothes. It was just kinda ironic, cuz i used to hate folding clothes. no i liked it at first when i was REALLY young but grew to hate it. I remember one particular time when Keilah was feeling generous (this doesnt happen often ;) ) she offered to let me play sick and she would fold the clothes. SO i climbed on the couch under the warm pile of freshly dried clothes and she folded them on top of me. :)

Keilah and I are having a blast at home together. Chick-flicks, cookie dough, rice krispy treats, chex mix, kettle corn mmmmmmm (that is when we're home). I think i sweated more water than actually fits in my body. I mowed the lawn and went for a really short run and the sweat dripped down off my face, into my eyes and my shirt was soaked. not just damp, it was pretty soaked, i think i could have rung out some sweat. yeh, and im a girl who doesnt normally sweat that much.

I cant wait till the rents return, though, so they can sign for my Mac which is waiting for me all alone at Fedex. sigh.
"im here without you baby,
but you're still with me in my dreams,
and tonight, its only you and me....." (in my heart)
-dedicated to my Macbook

I'm only a minor for 4 more days. guess i better kill someone now! ;)............