to clarify any confusion my last post may have caused i will repeat where im coming from: im a selfish, self-centered 18 year old, who though at times would pay handsomely to know God's will for her entire life, is at the same time thankful that she doesnt know it all. Im not denying the selfishness of the desire to spend a life all alone, but at the same time, i am saying that it is indeed better to do so, than it is to enter into such a holy design of God's haphazardly without thought, just becuase you desire the benefits of having a husband or wife. there is much to be said of the ministry of singles as there is of the ministry of married couples. and it is not God's design that we all marry. and i know good and well that im entirely too young to know now whether or not im getting married in my life, im merely pointing out that at this time in my life, i have no desire, whatsoever, nor tempation to enter into such an arrangement. Im sure, no positive, that marriage is a wonderful thing, an incredible blessing, and something to look forward to, as in God's will. Becuase in His will all things are good, for those who love him, for those who are called according to his purposes. so though as a selfish 18 year old i dont look on marriage as the incredible blessing that im sure it is, i think it is okay, at my age to hold it in a reverance, and healthy fear. i think many singles would do better to hold a little more of a healthy fear of it. but as i was pointing out, that if it is God's will that i marry, if it is God's will that dont have a job, than thats fine! my point was that though it doesnt sound fun to selfish me, im okay with that!! many many times God's will doesnt sound like the average person's idea of 'fun' or 'sucessful'. and that is okay! becuase only in God's will can i have the peace that passes all understanding. and true joy. and i want that! i want that over fun, over what sounds good to me. .....i hope that i have conveyed this all in a humble adittude, though im afraid i have not. i make no further excuse as to my opinions.....i crawl into bed now.

devotions spawn the most random thoughts.....

in a moment during my devotions just now i came across this phrase in Warren Wiersbe's "On Being a Servant of God" and decided to dust off my blog, which has so long lain in disregard due to a new phenomenon known as facebook...

He is saying how moses is asking God:" whom am i? that i should go to Pharoah and that i should bring the children of Isreal out of Egypt?" I have read this passage many times in Exodus chapter 3 and every time i think: i just know im gonna like this guy...he's so much like me! always coming up with excuses when it comes to doing God's will....
Wiersbe goes on to say, "Moses argued that he was 'slow of speech and slow of tongue' and God reminded Moses that HE made his tongue and could easily teach him what to say. Such resistance isn't unusual. After all, it's an awesome thing to be God's servant and do His will. Like marriage Christian service should not be 'entered into lightly or carelessly, but reverently, soberly and in the fear of God'." BINGO! this is what i've always thought about marriage, and i'd never thought of the illustration before of comparing it to entering into christian ministry. Of late have dropped the habit of staunchily proclaiming that i will never get married. But when I did say this, many people have wondered why, oh why, i wouldnt just love to spend the rest of my life with prince charming? And though strange enough a proclaimation as that is, as a member of the female species.......i have neither lack of a good father's example to lay blame on, nor lack of respect for the males in my life. I am not a feminist. I have respect in surplus for most of my guy friends, and have no doubt that they will make incredible husbands/fathers someday.
I was just yesterday reading a novel by an incredible christian woman! (at least she writes incredible novels....) by the name of Jamie Langston Turner, who's novels are nearly motive enough to attend Bob Jones University mearly to take class from her. anyways in her book "A Garden to Keep" the main character expresses the view that she went to college in purpose to get a good education and fully expected to come back with a husband, not a career, and how although feminism was alive at the time, most girls really did just want the whole wife and mother thing. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Im a huge fan of Godly amazing mothers, its just that i lack the same desire as described in this novel. Now granted God changes people, and their desires, and if he ever does, im willing. Because i'd rather be doing His will then my own any given day of the week, even if that doesnt sound like the most fun thing ever to me. So even though i love school, i love studying, i'd love to get a good job, and have the freedom to do things like travel randomly, and take long walks, and read from novels daily, if God's will is for me to be changing 8 diapers, then that is what i will be doing.
So i suppose my point in all this is two things: one, explain my view on marriage, personally, for all of you who have ever wanted to know what i think/thought me crazy, and my second point is, from the original quote, to urge you all to not just assume that you are meant to marry (though the comparison of marriage to christian ministry WOULD imply that we dont have an option...this isnt in face the case, for example: Paul) and if you are inclinded towards marriage to not enter it lightly but reverently, soberly and in the fear of God!! dont miss that last part about the 'fear of God'! I think that many people who enter into marriage would do better with a little more of the fear of God in therm....how much better would... communication, for example, be between couples, if they had the fear of God to respect Him together, and follow his principles.......anyways enough rambling for one afternoon. and im off my soap box now, i shall endeavor to proof read this now like a good student and cut out the worst parts.............